For most women, having sex is the greatest feeling in the world. But for some women, sex is a nightmare. It’s torture. The pain is enough to make you stop having sex. The pain can ruin your relationship and your life.
Women who feel pain during sex complain bitterly about how it affects their relationships. Because of the pain, their body naturally does not want sex anymore. And if these women refuse to make love, their partners might start to feel unloved.
If you know how that feels, I have good news for you.
You don’t have to avoid sex for the rest of your life… and you don’t have to endure pain when you decide to try sex.
There are proven remedies that make the pain go away like it was never there. And these remedies work for almost all known causes of painful sex.
In fact, after today’s article, you can easily get back to enjoying hot, steamy sex with your partner. All you have to do is figure out the reason why you find sex painful, and then follow proven treatments to get your sex life back.
Which proven treatments? You’ll discover them in detail in today’s article.
But first things first. Let’s look at the root causes of painful sex in women.
Why Does Sex Hurt? Understanding the 3 Root Causes
Why is it important for you to know the root cause of your pain?
Because when you know what makes sex painful for you, your problem is almost solved. All that’s left is for you to follow proven remedies and solve the problem.
Let’s look at some of the reasons why women feel pain during sex. The list below will help you identify the root cause of your pain if you don’t already know it. If you already know it, then this list will confirm what you know.
After that we’ll go straight to the treatments.
But first let’s look at the 3 main reasons why women feel pain during sex:
Reason #1 for painful sex — Lack of Lubrication
Lack of downstairs lubrication is the #1 reason why most women feel pain during sex.
The vagina naturally produces moisture, and this moisture is what makes you “wet” when you’re turned on. But when your vagina doesn’t make moisture, having sex can become dangerous.
At that point, there’s no moisture to provide lubrication. That makes your vaginal walls dry. It’ll be like two sandpapers rubbing on each other. And because of that dryness, your vaginal walls can easily tear.
That’s how most women who struggle with dryness bleed during sex.
What can prevent the vagina from producing moisture? The most popular reason is hormonal changes. But drug side-effects and stress can also cause vaginal dryness.
Reason #2 for pain during sex — Vaginismus
This is the second reason why most women feel pain during sex. It’s due to a vaginal condition known as Vaginismus.
Vaginismus is a vaginal issue most women don’t know about. Only those who experience it know how awful it feels.
When you have vaginismus, your vagina just shuts down. First, the vagina closes up and doesn’t let anything go in. And second, it doesn’t produce any moisture for lubrication.
Vaginismus is the vagina saying “no” to any form of sex.
And if you try to “force it”, bad things can happen. That includes pain and bleeding.
Women who struggle with trauma or who carry heavy emotional weight usually get vaginismus.
Reason #3 for pain during sex — Unknown health conditions
The third reason why sex can get painful is if you have an underlying health condition. Some health conditions that can make sex painful are endometriosis or a pelvic inflammatory disease.
The fact is that most women don’t realize when a health condition is making sex painful. They don’t know because everything seems fine except the pain.
Their vagina lubricates the way it should. Sex is great and even enjoyable. They only feel internal pain after sex so they end up assuming that sex is just painful for them.
But pain during sex is never normal.
You should always focus on pinpointing the root cause of the pain. When you do that, you can use a proven treatment to fix the root cause and get your sex life back.
Proven Treatment Options for Painful Sex
Now that we’ve looked at the three main reasons for painful sex, let’s talk about the proven treatments for each one.
1) Treatment for lack of lubrication:
If you’re certain that your pain is caused by lack of lubrication, then there are a few remedies you can try.
First of all, you should know how the vagina changes as you age and how to keep it young. When you learn how to keep your vagina young, it will help you to prevent vaginal dryness from developing in the first place. If you already have some dryness, you’ll be able to reduce it slowly until you eliminate it completely.
One other dryness remedy you may have tried is using lubricants. Lubes are easy and quick. They can make sex less painful and enjoyable. The only drawback is that the benefits are only temporary.
So most women soon get tired of using lubes and crave the ability to naturally make their own moisture. That’s where vaginal moisture supplements can help.
And finally, most women who lack downstairs lubrication are past menopause.
This means that the real reason for the dryness is a drop in their hormones. Specifically the hormone, estrogen. In that case, doctors will usually recommend hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Some women get results from the therapy.
2) Treatment options for vaginismus:
As mentioned earlier, vaginismus is not a disease or an infection. Instead, it’s the body’s automatic reaction to the fear of sex, usually penetrative sex.
You know you have vaginismus if your vaginal muscles tighten up on their own just before sex. And you also find it hard to control it.
The most proven treatment for vaginismus is therapy. Yes, visiting an experienced therapist can help you uncover the real reason why you have this condition.
As we mentioned earlier, most women who have vaginismus have either been in abusive relationships… or they’ve experienced trauma in the past. In either case, they’re carrying heavy emotional baggage. That emotional baggage is what triggers vaginismus.
Your therapist’s job is to help you sort through your past emotions. As you do that, the therapist will help you uncover the hidden reason why you have vaginismus. From there, the therapist can help you sort through it and gain control over your vaginal muscles again.
Other activities that help some women cure vaginismus are Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exercises and relaxation techniques.
3) Treatment options for physical issues:
The best way to tackle this case is to treat the underlying health condition. So if you’re experiencing pain during or after sex, check if you’re lubricating normally.
If you are, then you might have a health condition that’s causing the pain. Visit your doctor to help you figure out what that is. Once you treat it, the pain should completely go away.
Painful sex is NOT normal!
You will hear all kinds of dangerous advice on the internet. Here are some of them with what you should think when you hear them:
False comment #1: “It’s All in Your Head”
Nope, it’s not. Pain is your body’s way of signaling that something’s up. Don’t ever let anyone dismiss your experience as purely psychological.
False comment #2: “You’re Just Not Relaxed Enough”
This particular comment can feel really annoying. If just relaxing would solve all problems of painful sex, then nobody will have it. Isn’t relaxation and fun part of the reason why we have sex?
So don’t pay much attention to the “you’re not relaxed enough” comments. Don’t even let them bother or upset you.
While it’s true that relaxing can make sex better, telling someone to “just relax” is about as effective as telling water to be less wet. It doesn’t help!
False comment #3: “You’re Not Attracted to Your Partner”
Physical pain during sex does NOT mean that you don’t like your partner anymore. It’s much more complex than that.
False comment #4: “All Women Feel Pain During Sex; It’s Normal”
Just no. While many women feel pain during sex at some point, it is not the norm and should not be accepted as such.
Those are just a few of the bad advice you’ll hear on the internet. Usually, the advice will make it seem like the pain is your fault. Don’t fall for them. The pain is NOT your fault.
But we also know that it can take time to figure out the root cause of the pain. But keep looking, and don’t give up. Don’t let anyone, including doctors, blow you off and tell you that it’s in your head.
When to Seek Help: Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore
If you’re experiencing any of the following, it’s time to consult a healthcare provider:
- Persistent pain that doesn’t improve with OTC treatments or lifestyle changes
- Bleeding during or after intercourse
- Severe pain that makes it impossible to make love
- Pain accompanied by other symptoms like fever or abdominal pain
Your health is not something to gamble with. Book that appointment now.
We’ve talked about why you might be experiencing pain during sex, from lack of lubrication to more serious physical conditions. There are multiple treatment options available, each with its pros and cons.
So figure out the root cause of the pain. Fix it. And get back to your life.